ARGOS BARGAIN. ARGOS BARGAIN of 2014???

Photo no 204:

Question:- Why is this pub so important in the history of Coventry Harriers?

Dear Blog,

                   We experience the feeling of being conned by politicians all of the time. From their failure to answer an honest question put to them by a TV or radio pundit, to the fiddling of expenses. To be conned by tradesmen is far from unusual. Commercial exploitation of members of the public is nothing new.

I experienced a nice example of being conned last Friday by the large retailer ARGOS. I am sure that ARGOS did nothing illegal but in my eyes ARGOS was being dishonesty, ARGOS was not being fair to the general public. Last week my lawn mower of many years broke and the gardener wanted a new one. I thought a similar model to one that had served for very many years would be ideal. I found the Qualcast Hover Collect Lawnmower – 1500W and got my financial advisor to do a comparison search of all major retailers. The ARGOS company offered by far the best price so I used my pensioner’s bus pass to go into town and purchase the afore mentioned model. £59:99, thank you very much and I struggled back home and my wife commented on how easy the new machine was to use when she had finished the task of mowing all our lawns, front, back and sides of our lovely Mansion. The local yokels were quite envious of the pristine condition of the green grass. I told one or two of the richer ones that we could do a deal if they wanted my wife to do a similar job for them. Sorry Blog, I diverge …. £59:99 by far the cheapest machine on offer in all the stores and garden centres my financial advisor checked. On opening the local newspaper the following morning, my heart missed a series of important beats when I saw emblazoned across the free hand-out enclosed within the said newspaper, that ARGOS were offering ONE THIRD OFF their  Qualcast Hover Collect Lawnmower – 1500W as part of the ARGOS BIG BANK HOLIDAY DEALS. I TELL YOU Blog I was not a happy bunny, not happy at all. Conned was I??? Had to sit down and wait for my palpitations to pass before I could read on. And then I did my sums (I am quite good at sums because I did sums at the Pink Panther University). ONE THIRD OFF. Thereit was in balck and white large print in the newspaper. And the price ….. £66:49. Hang about a bit ARGOS. Less than 24 hours ago I paid six quids less than that. SIX whole quids. I looked closely. The original price they claimed was £99:99, but this had been crossed out. Next to it was £79:99 but this was crossed out to be replaced by the ONE THIRD OFF price of £66:49. No mention of my £59:99 which I checked had been advertised in their catalogue for some time. ARGOS … this is an 11% RISE, RISE, RISE RISE MATEY BOY !!! I asked my secretary to contact ARGOS but they were not interested. No surprise there ten! Although I came out of the experience smelling of roses, I find the whole attitude of ARGOS distasteful. But what can I do Blog??? That is the question. I wonder if any of the BBC Watchdog type programmes might be interested?? At least the BBC might be able to illicit a response from ARGOS about such a pricing policy. I bet that nice Mr Cameroon’s friend at number 11 would like to get away with convincing the electorate that an 11% rise in inflation is really a huge reduction of ONE THIRD OFF? But politicians would never dream of being so dishonest, would they Blog??????

                                                    Colin

2014 European Election results

Photo no 203:

Question:- Why were the cycling troops so important to Coventry and Godiva???

So today is election day … and today my electricity bill arrived. It is huge. And do you know why Blog. Well I will tell you. It is all because of this election which is today.

The election is for my Local Councillors and my European Members of Parliament. I honestly don’t know which of these clever people to vote for. Every time yet another leaflet falls through my letter box, I am swayed in a different direction. Weeks ago when this leaflet lark started, until I made my final decision, I decided to be totally impartial. To implement this decision of mine, I decided to display each of the posters which fell through my letter box on my windows so that the hoi polloi from the village would not know what my politics are – not that it is any of their business anyway - not that they are allowed onto my estate to get near enough to my mansion to see my windows. But one has to put up with these trades people types, the postman etc. and they do gossip and will inform the villages of what I am up to.

However, when I decided to be impartial and display all these images, I failed to realise how many of these johnnies wanted to represent my interests. With all the posters plastered over my windows, it is so dark inside my mansion that I have to have the electrical light bulbs burning 24 /7 as they say. Costing me a bloody fortune. Hence my huge electricity bill which arrived this morning through my letter box. I tell you Blog, tomorrow morning, as soon as I find out which of these fellows has been elected, I am down to his office to find out just what he is going to do to reduce my electricity bill. If I am taking the trouble to vote, the johnnie who is elected, is jolly well going to earn his crust!

                   Colin

London Marathon 2015 - Extra places available???

Photo no 202:

Statement:- Having failed in his attempt to set a new U.K. marathon record, Mo Farah has announced the names of his new coaching advisors . The photo shows them meeting for the first time.

Dear Blog,

                   As I said in my last letter, the 2015 London Marathon is proposed to start in Bradford. This of course has caused some logistical problems. To help alleviated some of these, the new advisors to that nice Mr Cameroon (see above) has come up with a novel solution which Mr Cameroon had accepted chapter and verse, so everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet. So that’s O.K..  To ensure a Bradford start to the 2015 London Marathon, the Premier has made the generous offer to the of rushing through the H2S Rail Bill using his Parliamentary Privilege and the help of his close friend Cleggie, to allow an amendment from the Honourable Member for Bradford, to extend the H2S branch line from Birmingham to Bradford instead of Leeds. With their use of a four line whip, completion should take place before they begin the 2015 London Marathon. The branch line will, of course, solve the problem of finishing the London Marathon along Bird Cage Walk as usual with the new start in Bradford and the traditional distance of 26 miles 385 yards (42.5 Kilometres to you Blog) will be maintained. To facilitate these changes, the marathon runners will assemble at Valley Parade (the home of Bradford City’s football club), run the 400 yards (385 metres to you Blog) passed the Department store of Busby’s and drop down to the Forster Square Railway Station, hop on the first High Speed Train out of Bradford, jogging on the spot in each specially adapted seat less carriages while the train speeds south through the countryside,(predicted time of 1hr 55mins according to Mr Vine Grove, the man that nice Mr Cameroon has put in charge of the Ministry of Sums and Difficult Spellings (MOSAD). Arriving at the Embankment Underground Station, runners quickly disembark, run up the escalator and out onto the Thames Embankment to complete the race along the usual last mile of the marathon course. As we have been promised by Ministry of Transport and Wild Imagination, the shuttle will travel so fast, the marathoners will soon get to London; and by continuing to run on the spot as the marathon runners travel to the capital, the correct marathon distance will be covered. The whole course, as usual, will be monitored by CCTV cameras, to spot anyone cheating – there will be no popping out of one carriage into another to shorten the distance; each 10 kilometre split will be timed as normal procedure for the race thus avoiding this year’s cockup where someone managed a world record half marathon time for the second sector of the London Marathon!!! Instead of the traditional pre-race pasta party, there will be a fish and chip supper at Harry Ramsden’s Fish Bar in Guiseley. The famous runner Wilson (of the Wizard Harriers), who used to live in a cave on Ilkley Moor, will give a talk at the Marathon Expo on ‘The Advantages of the Hair Shirt to Marathon Runners’. Do you remember the fuss Blog, when he transferred from the Wizard Harriers to the Rover A.C. without serving the mandatory life time ban?

The Elite Runners will catch the first train out of Foster Square, the Championship runners will embark onto the second train rom Bradford while the slow joggers will be allowed on the milk train. The Wheel Chair competitors will set off first after having their wheels especially adapted to the correct gauge of the railway lines. The impaired sight runners will not be allowed a guide in 2015 as the rails will keep them on the straight and narrow. The money saved by the organisers by not having to pay expenses to the blind runners’ guides, will be donated to Tiny Tims Children’s Centre in Coventry which provides physiotherapy to disable children; as you know, Blog, I have raised money for the Charity before. The annual Mini Marathon for kids can be run on the branch line from Bradford’s Forster Square to Ilkley Grand Central where they can run up and down Dale on Ilkley Moor bar tat with Mary Jane being invited as guest starter.

                                                           Colin

Tell all your friends, Blog

Photo no 201:

Question:- What is the name of this street, which may be the new start of the London Marathon (see below)

Dear Blog,

                  THE news … and don’t forget to tell all your mates that you heard it first from me!!! It’s like this … the Tour of Italy has just started in Belfast. Blog I kid you not – check the sports pages in the newspapers! The Tour of France is starting in God’s Own Country in Leeds later this year. Blog, I kid you not – check the sports pages in the newspapers! So what is my NEWS I hear you ask. Well on April 1^st next year (2015) the London Marathon will start in Bradford. Blog I kid you not –check the sports pages of the newspapers! The organisers have yet to work out the fine details; details like how do you get the runners to finish in London. But that is a minor detail compared to the exciting news of the Bradford start. I guess the organisers will have the field running up hill and down dale, but that is my speculation. And of course, the organisers might have to extend the length of the race a little bit. So what. In the 1908 Olympics, the organisers extended the length of the marathon a little bit, and look what happened. It became the internationally recognised standard distance for the marathon. So this is the chance for the Tykes to contribute to the classic distance.

Roll on April 1^st next year. I cannot wait to see Mo Farah’s face when he runs through Milton Keynes and they tell him he has not yet reach the half marathon distance!!! Perhaps he will enter a race in Bradford, Leeds, Doncaster, Sheffield, Derby, Nottingham, Birmingham, Coventry, Northampton, Daventry and Milton Keynes later this year to see how it feels to get to half way???  But that is my speculation.

                                               Colin

It is so so sad ...............

It’s back ….

The Photographic Quiz.

So with no more ado, adooo ,adooooooo

Photo no 200:

Question:- What has this school to do with Coventry Godiva Harriers? Where is it? What happened at lunchtime in the summer …. Or dinner time if you come from God’s Own Country.

Dear Blog,

Forgive me for not being in touch for such a long time but I didn’t feel that I had much to tell you which might have been of interest to you…. But now ….

Are you ready for the bad news? Have you got your tissues handy? It is so sad. Prepare yourself for the really, really bad news …. There comes a time in every one’s life when the inevitable happens. You know it will eventually occur but nothing prepares you for the sadness, does it? Inevitable but how to cope???

It happened last month. I was quite unprepared. The family had gone down to watch the London Marathon. We had camped at Abbey Woods camping site as we usually do for the London marathon; it is so handy for the start of the marathon at Blackheath Common. This year my elder daughter had decided to run ‘the London’ in early January when she learned she had won a club (Coventry Godiva Harriers) place. She had had a long break from running when she had her two children but fancied having a run in a marathon as something she felt she just had to do. Although not specifically interested in raising money for charity, she thought that she would raise some money for a charity while she was at it .. and of course she chose to raise funds for TINY TIMS CHILDREN’S CENTRE which provides physio for disable children; her son, my grandson, benefiting from the service. If you would like to give a few quids, Blog, I am sure she would be grateful?? While my other daughter made her way around the course on the morning of the race supporting her sister .. likewise my son in law supporting his wife. It was left to Gradma and Granddad to take charge of the granddaughter and grandson complete with his wheelchair. Now Mr Lord Mayor of London, get the wheelchair access to the London Underground sorted. First, I like your clever game of spot the disabled access signs which are often so cleverly hidden that you are forced to ask a member of staff for directions. But better still Mr Boris, I like the way you provided access but then apologise that the service is not available due to being broken down, usually with a little note on the lift door. But your piss de resistance, the very best wheeze of all, is the way the note on the door of the elevator which tells that the lift does not work when the potential user is several layers under the streets of London!! WHAT TO DO THEN??? Can’t use the moving staircase with a wheelchair … or so it says. But the official at the top of the escalator is not likely to send you back down again because you have been naughty, are they (can’t use the moving staircase with a wheelchair to go back down when you have just come up??) ……….. So getting to the finish of the marathon to see mummy end her race was not fun .. NOT NOHOW, NOWAY!!!

But the BAD NEWS, the VERY SAD NEWS on this occasion ……..

There is a saying in athletic circles that you are only as good as you last race. SO NOW I AM OFFICIALLY THE SLOWEST MARATHON MEMBER OF THE FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slower than my wife!! Slower than my younger daughter!! Slower than my son-in-law!! And now SLOWER THAN MY ELDER DAUGHTER following her performance in her first marathon last month in the London marathon. Pass the tissues please Blog. It is so sad. Me, an Olympian and the slowest trudger of them all. The only glimmer of light in the dark tunnel being that I got a special deal from the supermarket Aldi, who gave me a special discount on a bulk buy of tissues. And to save a few quids, I have been hanging the tissues out on the clothes line to dry ready for reuse!!

I have told my 10 year old granddaughter that she is not going to add to my misery … she is officially too young to run a marathon. And I have told my 7 year old grandson that wheelchair times for the London Marathon do not count in the family pecking order of marathon order of merit. NOT NOHOW, NOWAY!!!

Got to go now Blog as the weather forecasters have issued a severe flood warning for this area – I really must try to stop crying for the sake of the local residents whose houses are built on the flood plain.

Colin