Midland Cross Country .... again, again, again .....

Photograph Quiz:

Photo no. ?? Stone me Blog. Do you have any idea where we are with this numbering malarkey??? I was invited to give a talk this week. I look good even if I have to say it myself. What was I ask to speak about? Where was it? How much did I raise for the charity for disable children ‘Tiny Tims Children’s Centre’?

  Back to the Midland Cross Country Championships Blog ….. there is an on-going query about a competitor in the Midland, but pending a conclusion, I will mention another two similar matters. A parent who should know better turns up to a championship with child in tow to be told said child was not entered as the appropriate notice had not been signed by him in time for the entries to be sent to the Midland officers. Angry parent suggesting forcefully that the club should get itself organised. He was unaware of the irony in what he had said. He then colludes with a team manager and both not only allow the said child to run in someone else’s number, but it was in someone else’s number from a different age group in a different race; luckily the numbering of each age group was independent and no number was duplicated during the afternoon!!! Any race organiser can appreciate the utter confusion that this would cause the result collators and the production of race results. Luckily the Midland Counties relied on chip timing with the numbers used only as backup. The photographic evidence was used to confirm the misdemeanour. The parent still did not understand what the problem was. The sport obviously needed organising ‘properly’.

Two runners cross the line together in a medal position and the finishing judges are unable to separate them. Question => What to do?? Award both a medal. No Way Baby. Look to see which athlete had the faster chip timing and award that athlete the medal and tough tittie to the other athlete. Good Idea Baby. That seems to me to be a gross miscarriage of justice. Am I correct Blog, or am I correct???

I had the experience of travelling into the city to visit a bank during the week. Question => Why can I visit a betting shop (which I don’t) or order an item from Argos (which I don’t) and the pens provided can be used without difficulty by the great unwashed public? I visit a bank and the pens are chained to the desks. The qualities of the pens in the banks seem no more valuable than those in Argos or Betfred. Where is the trust … oh yes, because the banks are always on the financial fiddle, they must suspect that all their customers are as well? And why are the chains attached to the bank pens so short that you have difficulty signing any document? With all the quids the banks make at our expense you would think an extra couple of inches (centimetres to you Blog) would not reduce too much from the managers’ yearly bonus. Did you notice my cleverly slipped in pun, Blog. Is their no limit to my literally genus, Blog?  

And have you noticed Blog that they are all at it …

Can I interest you in life insurance?

No thanks

Can I interest you a new credit card?

No thanks.

Do you want a top up.

Not just now.

Do you want cash back?  […. They never give up …. ]

No thanks.

Do you want to change your account?

No.

Do you want information on a high savers investment bond?

No. Look here, I only came in for a couple of pork chops for our evening meal. In future I shall go to a different butcher, thank you very much.

                And it’s down to the club tonight for another trudge. On Tuesday, I saw three foxes … can I beat that tonight I ask myself, Blog.

                                  Colin

Midland Cross Country Championships January 26th 2013 Results

Dear Blog,

Photograph Quiz:

http://imgbox.com/g/bpJ2xQGZmk

Photo no. 130 to 142:- My carer tells me that if you click on the above you will get a display of today’s runners at Stafford Common in the Midland Cross Country Championships. Now is that clever Blog, or is that clever. I shall miss walking to the chemist to hand in my film for developing and then popping back next week to pick up the photographs. What will they think of next. How about letters without stamps? Boy. That would be really clever. Sort of 1984 all over again, know what I mean Blog?

   I think everyone who went to the Midland Cross Country Championships should say a BIG thank you to Stafford Harriers for all their hard work. And a big thumbs down for all those athletes and team managers, including some from my own club, who critised the early day problems encountered by the officials and marshals. That is a little short of disgraceful with a capital ‘DISGRACEFUL’. They should recognise how refreshing it is for a club to solve a problem in these days of ‘Health and Safety’ rather than accept a little local difficulty and give up the ghost like the Sofety Southern Cross Country Association. Well done Stafford. And I’ll tell you about a little bonus Blog. ‘Derby Runner’ sports shop were At the event selling athletic gear. The shoes were only £20!!!! £20!!!!!!!!!!!! Now even if they were not the correct size and they didn’t fit, at £20 how could you not buy a pair???? I take a size 11 but a size 8 for £20, no problem. That is only £10 a shoe, or £2 per toe. A bargain, with a capital ‘B’. Put it another way, it is only 25p a toe nail. I’ll have some of that, Blog. So I purchased a pair. If Phillip Ardes can run for his club Athens A.C, against the Sparta Harriers in their annual inter club with his toes cut out of his shoes to make sandals, then I can do the same. No problem there then Blog. The new size eleven is size eight. Just a Stanley knife with a slash here, there and everywhere and I am fixed up for many, many trudges here, there and everywhere. Better than barefoot running. Although with all this talk about barefoot running in the magazines these days, I am fully expecting a phone call asking me if I would be kind enough to relate the time I ran a steeplechase barefoot. I would not charge too many quids. Remember in the sixties, it was all about showing how tough you were, and even Wilson or Alf Tupper never ran a steeplechase barefoot. So move over Ronnie and Brucie, make room for Colin!!!!!

   You have to admire the confidence of the Midland Cross Country Officials … the runners were required to wear a chip for position and finishing time. If that system failed they had the back up of a number worn on the front of the vest for position and finishing time. If the front number system failed they had the back up of a number worn on the back of the vest for position and finishing time. And if that system failed they had the photographer recording all the runners as they completed the course. And if that system failed, for a small few quids, they can ask for my help??

                                                       Colin

Southern Counties Cross Country Championships - latest?

Do you know what Blog? I reckon all this snow has done something to the psyche of the females of the species .. well at least one female of the species.

Question:- What would most other blokes do after a hard long trudge over the deep and crisp snowy wastes of Northish Warwickshire? Answer:- Of course, they would shower, change and collapse into a comfortable armchair in front of the television set to watch an afternoon of gee gees racing while a steaming mug of coffee and a pleasant lunch was prepared by their wives and served up on a tray in front of a blazing fire …. as is the custom in our society. Simple. Obvious. It’s always been like that since Eve sliced the apple up and made custard for the crumble. Adam didn’t complain that it was quite tart. And did my wife follow the custom as laid down in the Good Book? Did she nelly. Did I flop into a chair after my challenging trudge, I ask you Blog? Oh no. It was on with the overalls, lace up the snow shoes, on with the mittens, adjust the deer stalker, straighten the jock strap and out into the garden. No rest for me after my trudge. Too conscientious, that’s my trouble.

Working away, concentrating is difficult without her wittering away nonstop. I lost it, I’ll tell you. The snow was deep and the job was hard enough as the snow was the wet stuff type that stuck together like glue. I had finished the head and body of my snow man and was into the finer details of his anatomy. She kept shouting from the doorway … have I done this, have I done that, have I done the other? A man can only take so much Blog. She could see I was busy but it made no difference at all. She went on about all the fiddly little jobs that needed doing around the house; when would I fit the new shower cubicle? When would I replace the flashing on the chimney stack? Wasn’t it about time I ordered some glass for the front room picture window which had been broken in the July storms? And so on and so forth. As I said, I had just got to the delicate bit of the snowman’s anatomy when I lost it. Or rather I broke it. It just snapped off. Being thin and pointy, it is often the hardest part of the construction. As she had caused me to make the mistake, I thought it only right that she helped make amends for putting me off my stride. So I asked her if I could borrow her pipe to replace the snowman’s which I had just broken. Stone me. I only asked to borrow her pipe. I didn’t want her best pipe after all, the one I bought for her 60^th birthday would do. And it would be returned after the thaw. She went nutterkins. Borrow her pipe indeed. I am not joking Blog, anyone would have thought that I wanted to borrow her washing up liquid or something. I told her that the yoicks from the village would appreciate her contribution to my artistic efforts when they popped up to the estate for a viewing. But she wouldn’t have it. In the end, I borrowed a tin of her rolling tobacco without telling her. A wise move on my part don’t you think Blog? And I do think that her blonde wig looks rather cute on the snow pig.

                                                 Colin

P.S. The acronym S.C.C.C.A. doesn’t stand for the Southern Counties Cross Country Association but stands for Softies Can’t Cope, Can’t be Arsed. The ‘Southern’ have cancelled their Championship … Health and Safety’. Stone me Blog, first the Universities Championships were cancelled last year and the students showed a couple of fingers at their masters in charge and got stuck in themselves and made their own arrangements … then the Midland cancel and then the National Road Relay cop out only for the ordinary club members (aka Notts A.C.) at grass roots level to show a couple of fingers to our masters in charge and got stuck in and made their own arrangements. I suppose the Southern clubs will show the same deference. What is happening to the LEGACY??? What a joke???

I shall of course be attending the gathering of the Midland Cross country runners if I can get through the snow drifts!!!

The Liz Kershaw Radio Show

Photograph Quiz:

Photo no. 129ishish:- OK Blog. You are really pathetic at these quizzes … so some help for you with this one. This was taken May 27^th 1950 on a cloudy cold day. It was the start of a marathon. The runner in the centre (small one, black hair) told me yesterday that he finished absolutely knackered as he hadn’t done the mileage and the weather was terrible!! Who is the runner? Who won the race? Which Godiva runner came second (3^rd left, hidden!)? … Not no. 13, that was Fred. Fred who you ask Blog? Oh yes, and while I am at it, who measured the course, the reverse of which incidentally, was used for the Coventry Marathon when it was revived at the time of the first jogging boom … the course which the Godiva club marathon runners used as their traditional ‘22’ on a Sunday morning in the late 60s early 70s when Godiva were unassailable. Now wasn’t that interesting Blog. Wait till “The History of the Coventry Godiva Harriers and Other City Clubs” is published, which will be the week after I win the Lottery as that is the only way I can fund it. Bugger. I don’t do the Lottery. 

Dear Blog,

   With all this snow about, curtailing my trudges here, there and everywhere, I have been listening to the snow line update on the local radio. Now I have to confess that I am not a fan of local media at the best of times, mainly because they can dish out the sludge, but can’t take it. They are immune from criticism because they are self-protective and their defences cannot be breached as they have the power to simply shut up shop or pull the plug out or switch off the electricity. An example, which I happened across while doing a bit of sorting through my history notes during the snowy showers. Two years ago local lad made bad, shock jock Gaunt, left for the big city lights and longer wavelengths and was soon to be followed on one of his spots on local radio by Liz Kershaw. O.K. she comes from across the border from God’s Own County but not all of us can be perfect. I think she had a morning programmes as well as her show on Radio 6. Remember how quiet she became when it was exposed that she was fiddling the ‘phone ins’ to her quiz on the programme on the Radio 6 channel. The contestants were not real listeners but staff working on the production side of the show! I wrote to her to see if there would be any reaction to my comment about her and another presenter falsely claiming to be talking to members of the public who had phoned in. TOTAL SILENCE. That is about par for the media. And the Levitation Enquiry will do nothing to change the situation because that nice Mr Cameroon and his mates have the power to shut us all up, simply shut up shop or pull the plug out or switch off the electricity. So what did I write to Liz Kershaw following her upset with Aunty Beeb, you ask Blog. Read on my son …………….

There was a young girl called Liz,

Who had the BBC in a tiz.

The phone-ins weren’t real,

The show a done deal,

Which meant Liz’s quiz had no fiz.

   ….. which I thought was quite good, even though I thought it myself.

Snowy Training Tip :- Have I mentioned before .. I think not. So the snow is deep and crisp and even not going anywhere soon, so what to do? I mentioned a few days steady trudging did no harm at this time of year, but there can be enough of a good thing. Ab as opposed to adductors can suffer from too much slipping. So what to do next? The all-weather track cannot be used because the weather is bad (THE irony of ironies?? You have to smile Blog). Adapt and survive Darwin told the penguins in the Gallapipidosidoses. For efforts, long short or whatever, for sprints, for warmups => …. Use the local multi storey car parks after the workers have gone home. I always cleared it with the security at the University before I started so they didn’t think I was a yob about to damage what cars remained after the rush hour. They were always understanding and helpful. When the club was based at the Butts in the centre of Coventry (pre 1984, I used the council car parks. The one near the Butts in Queen Victoria Road was always deserted. Eerie at times, especially when I was doing flat out efforts up the stair wells. In years of use, I cannot remember ever meeting anyone on the stairwell. Hardly surprising when you consider the place was so dark and forbidding. Even the local yobs and druggies gave it a miss. Talking of druggies, I may just render a few lines soon about the Armstrong affair and relate my experience with a couple of cyclists …I may. But then again I may not! Watch this space.

                                Colin  

A circuitous route to arrive at the passing of a runner.

Blog,

         It’s a funny old world Blog.

        In the great scheme of things, it must take a good deal of planning to create some of the co-incidences which strike us as remarkable and memorable? Of course, mathematically this is far from the truth because the one event we remember as significant is just one event of an infinite number of different scenarios which occur each day. With a huge set of threads / pathways which we could follow each and every day, it is not surprising therefore that one pattern is thrown up every now and again which seems to be so unusual that we place an unnatural emphasis on it. Just as all those monkeys with their stack of typewriters can upstage William S., one event is bound to be memorable sooner or later for all of us.

        So …. Here we go. Concentrate Blog because my tale to you today might involve some serious interweaving of events!!!!

        A couple of letters ago I sent you a photo with the caption

Photo no. 125:- The race starts, or used to start, in front of a cathedral. Which one? In which year was the event first held? Who organised the first race? What type of race is it? Which well-known national company took over the organising of the event? Where does the bridge in the photo lead to? CLUE => think ‘Pink Panther’.

Well last week (Jan 13^th) the latest edition of the relay (oops an answer) took place. If you look closely at the photo (thanks to the kindness of David Hewitson [Sports for All Pics, www.sportsforallpics.co.uk] for allowing me send you this Blog) you can see a cathedral. This is where the original relay (oops the same answer) started and finished. If you look closely at the photo you will observe that the runners are not male and a long way from said cathedral. When the original relay (oops not again) took place, it was for males ONLY. Males with a capital ‘M’. (OK an ‘O’ as well if we are to be accurate about this. And we are as always). Now, it was in my final year at the Pink Panther University, the year after the relays were inaugurated, that I ran my first marathon. ****In the photo you may be able to pick out me, Ron Hill and the organiser of the Ladies first National Marathon Championships which I mentioned in my last letter. I think he actually won the race in 2:21:38 (!). Interestingly, it may have been the year that Ron Hill was doing his third race in four days

       Or it may have been a different year?!!! He won the Salford ‘7’ (I think it was) in bare feet on the road!!!! (OUCH). Then he won the Rivington Pike fell race in lousy weather conditions, and the marathon on the MONDAY (Big Clue there Blog), again the weather turned out to be not too nice with a sudden flurry of snow and falling temperatures. Note my gear of gloves and long sleeved top over my university vest.

        I ran four marathons that year. In my second marathon (it might have been my third??) I came second, 80 odd seconds behind the winner (It was his first marathon). I heard yesterday that the winner of that particular race has just died. Sad. He was a nice bloke. After the presentation for the awards which took place in an open air swimming pool, we were both violently sick for a particular reason; the same reason. Question:- Why were we both sick??? The same cause, what was it?

       

        And interestingly, here is a picture of the prize I won that day (honestly Blog, 50 years old. Would I lie to you Blog?) …. Minus the content which were made of fine bone china, none of your plastic rubbish in those days. Question:- Had plastic been invented in those days????

        And a month or two later I ran my fourth marathon of the year in which I came second to a future Olympian. Question:- Who was the future Olympian? … and twelve months later I ran my fourth marathon of the that year which happened to be the AAA Marathon Championships.

      

       And the runner who has just died also ran. Which one is he in the photograph? Yes, number 16!! What is his name? Question:- Who is number 36, my future team mate. And the little fella, second left, came third in my first marathon. He is hidden in the middle at the back in the first photo… I told you he was a little fella, didn’t I Blog?  Question:- What is his name? Question:- Which runner is yours truly? Easi peasi or what? Still sticking this out Blog? Not lost? Goodonya! Boy it was hot that day, made worse by seeing my uncle outside every pub on the course supping yet another pint. Was it 26 miles or 26 pints? The latter!! No drink and drive slogans in those days. At least he was capable of hitting the brake pedal hard and fast on the way back home for me to chuck up at the roadside rather than me utilising his glove compartment in the car … too much sun!!! Still with me Blog? Lost the thread Blog? Stick in there Blog. I say ‘uncle’. He was, but he was only a couple of years older than me so I didn’t regard him as an uncle; he used to throw a wobbly when I called him ‘uncle’ while we were out!!! Little did I realise at the time that I was to start my teaching career within four miles of where the AAA event was held!!! Question:- Where was the AAA marathon championship event held?

               => A strange story … following my post graduate year at the Pink Panther University, I was accepted on a post graduate Master’s degree course at Manchester. In the middle of August, I received a note from the Science Research Council (or whatever it was called in those days) telling me that they had noted that I was a qualified teacher and was therefore not eligible for the grant for my research!!! I immediately contacted my M.P. to sort out what was going on. I received no immediate reply and began to panic. At the time, I was working as a grounds man during the summer months to get a few quids and my employment would end at the beginning of September so I would be left a little short of the afore mentioned few quids. I needed a job!!!! Following the advice of a Prof. at the Pink Panther University who I occasionally ran with and who always advised that ‘if you want to succeed in a particular area of interest, you go to where that interest can offer the best.’ I was interested in road running and Coventry was the place with unquestionably the best road runners. So I desperately searched for a job in the Coventry area. Fortunately there was a vacancy not too far away and luckily I was appointed. Four weeks into my first term of teaching, I got a letter from my M.P. apologising for the delay in replying to my letter but he had been on holiday during the Parliamentary recess and had only just returned. He told me he had sorted my problem with the Department of Education (or Science) and my grant was now in place, and I could start at Manchester for my Masters. Thanks Mate!!! What a dilemma. Four weeks into teaching … what did I say to the kids, ‘Sod you’, and take up my place at Manchester??? How could I do that and live with myself??? I asked Manchester if I could defer for a year and continued to teach!!!

        Oh yes, I did get my revenge in the AAA Championships for my second place in the previous year’s race as I beat the runner (no. 16) who has just died.

       Boy that was complicated Blog, worse that a Touch of Frost? Did you follow the plot Blog, unravel all the clues? Who do you think did it Blog? Correct, it was ……………………………….

                                                  ……….Colin

And the Good Lord said 'Let there be snow.' And there was snow and it was deep and crisp and even deeper.

Built your snow man yet Blog?

So the snow doth snoweth. So what? Trudging is so peaceful ... no people, no traffic. And across the fields or parkland, a glance behind shows only one set of footprints in the virgin snow. Seeing the set of prints following me never fails to remind me of that syrupy verse which is often printed on tea towels and the like, about the  two sets of prints then the single set going across the sand on a beach ... '  and why was there then just  one set of prints oh  Lord?'.  Sorry, but it always reminds me of the verse!!! Mum had such a tea towel! It may be hard to follow a set schedule Blog, in the snowy conditions, but the snow won't be around for long (.. as he said in 1963), so why not used the conditions for a little mental refreshment from the hard routine of intervals, hard runs, races and the like. A mid-winter break from the slog! A few days trudging about in the snow will do nothing for you but good. Enjoy a stress free day or two travelling across the country. Try a few new paths. Look around for the tracks of the natural inhabitants whom you are usually totally unaware of! If you run on playing fields, play mind games by either using your own foot prints on each lap, or make a different track on each lap so that whoever happens to along that way next, will be impressed by the amount of work you have done! Is it not farcical that the country panics at the first (and second and third ..) sight of snow. Why all the school closures? I remember running to work after a particularly heavy fall, knowing full well that I, another member of staff who lived local and the caretaker would be the only three members of staff in. and so it proved! But on the final hill just before the school gates, I have to admit that I was impressed to see a single pupil up to his knees struggling through the drifts to get in. We invited him to join us for a cup of hot chocolate and biscuits. He was quite shy!! Especially when I ask ‘And why did you try to get into school when the weather was so bad that it was almost impossible to walk, and more important, why did you bring (carry) your bike?’ Bless him .. ‘I always come to school on my bike sir, and any way, it might have melted by home time’. I had to smile inwardly. The snow over a foot deep and going nowhere for a week!!! At my third school, another country school, I could appreciate the Head shutting up shop early as he was at the mercy of the coach companies who bussed the kids in. A village school, surrounded by a series of hills, the companies refused to come out after 1:00pm if the snow was getting deep for fear of getting stuck. Of course, I never missed a day in such circumstances. I was the only member of staff with a record of full attendance!! It was a bonus if the school was or had to be closed early. Running to and from work, such conditions meant that I could get a few extra miles in! Just like the asbestos problems we had … but that is another story for another time.

                                     Colin

Move over Old Moore, mine are true

Dear Blog,

                    I keep giving you these exclusive tips about events and happenings. Do you ever take notice Blog? I told you about the portable water purifier recently; wait till the press catch on! Who told you about the Tour de France starting in God’s Own County before the press release??? And who told you about where the start would be and the route before the press release??? Today, the press caught up with yours truly!!!! Well, let me tell you that the ‘Tour’ actually passes within 50 yards (48 metres to you Blog) of the house where I grew up in Keighley. True.  Would I lie to you Blog???

         Question:- Guess where will I be spending a day of my summer holidays Blog???

So, as they say … ‘On yer bike, matey Boy.’

                             Colin