Tiny Tims Children's Centre

OK OK Blog, OK. So my parody in our last communication didn’t quite scan! You try writing on a given subject and a defined set of material, then we’ll see who the Lord Byron is around here. Anyway, like all great pieces of literature, all is not what it seems. ‘I’ appears 10 times ..... ‘Harriers’ appears five times and without the aid of a calculator, I reckon that ten times five is a cool fifty ... fifty years ago today. If you count the words in this sentence and divide by two, you get a grand total of fifty ... fifty years ago today!

The number of lines in the parody is fifty eight, which is eight over the odds which makes fifty .... fifty years ago today. And how many words were there in the opening sentence, again if you count the words in this sentence you will get a grand total of fifty!

Enough, enough, enough of this  ... you can work out the others for yourself Blog, while you are recovering from your latest training spin. So as the Queen has been known to say ‘There you have it.’ God bless her Majesty.

Are there some words or phrases that really get up your running vest, Blog? Some drive me crackers. I went along to the Midland Road Relays on Saturday. The Women’s relay was first event, four ladies in a team, by the way. The autumn course at Sutton Park, is the one not down by the stream. They were lead off by Zarinda, my elder, leg three was Myshola, my younger who took us up to a high of nine. My wife was last at 22^nd, which was a bit of a decline. However she was the oldest runner of the 72 starting teams .... which leads me to full circle with the inevitable ‘The Kirkhams’ [team in this case]. That term drives me wild, a phrase I cannot stand. Other candidates for pulling my hair out, for shortening my locks ..... ‘BOGOFF’, and ‘for free’ and

Photograph Quiz:

Photo no. 50:- A cutting from yesterday’s local paper. Who is it and why is it causing so much family friction?

Of course it is a photograph of my elder daughter who is running the Coventry Half Marathon this Sunday to raise funds for Tiny Tims Children’s Centre .....come on Blogsie, where are your quids???? The friction within in the family?? Well, I trudged a marathon in London earlier this year for my two children’s charities Newlife and Tiny Tims Children’s Centre and my picture in the local newspaper was half the size of my daughter’s. It is just not fair. Why should she get two pictures and me only one? I trudge double the distance and get half the coverage, so by the Law of Inverse Proportionality, if I trudge a mile, I should get a full double page spread ..... and if I do a 100m tridge**, the newspaper should not only print a special addition, but issue a supplement as well. I am working on it. Any way, we should be talking to each other again by the weekend when she will have run the Coventry Half Marathon to raise funds for Tiny Tims Children’s Centre ..... paying up Blogsie?

I was up in God’s own country last week, as I mentioned to you before, Blogs. On Thursday, when I planned to travel back to the estate, I was on the horns of dilemma. I could travel back via the M62 or the M65 to get to the M6. If i used the former I would pass within a mile of  Littleborough where Ron Hill was holding his 75^th Birthday 5 km race, Or if I used the latter, I could call off at Wycoller****** and run for an hour or two on the Herders. No contest I am afraid, Ron, the Herders won!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the highest pubs in England (the Herders Inn) was sometime featured in the news over winters past, because quite a few drinkers were maroon inside the pub because they became snowed in (tell the missus that!); as I trudged by, it was a sad sight to see the place boarded up, closed for business because of the present economic crisis. When I first started to run marathons, my regular Sunday session was:-

a.m. Swim.

a.m. Run from home to the track (2 mile), 10*440 with 330 jog, run home (2 miles).

p.m. Run from home over the Herders to Laneshaw Bridge via Oakworth. Either return same way, or complete the loop via Cowling, Eastburn and Keighley (21 miles)

Makes me tired just thinking about it! What did you used to do when you first started Blog? I’d be interested to hear.

It was in the Newspapers this week so it must be true. They have done it at Cern, in Switzerland. You can travel faster than light ..... well Mr Thompson, can Mr Kirkham now have his degree back, please. Stuff your Professorship. Oh yes, it was dead funny fifty years ago, wasn’t it, when an undergraduate dared to suggest in a Maths tutorial that it might be interesting to speculate what would happen if we could travel faster than light. Re invent some of the basic laws of Physics

There was a young lady named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned home the previous night.

It would not be possible to build a time machine to travel forward in time, because the future has not happened. But the past has occurred, so if a time machine were possible, it would enable a time traveller to go back to a previous age. Presumably there would be no control as to where in the past the traveller would end up. And on arrival, all the paraphernalia of travel, the clothing, capsul etc., would de-materialise because they had yet to be invented. The human form would be OK. But, by arriving in the past, the traveller would be altering history, which clearly is not allowed; so a parallel universe would begin [to make such events possible]. And of course, the traveller would not be able to return to his starting point, [even if he could invent the materials for such a project] because, once he had arrived in the past, the future time from which he had left, would not have happened. And you cannot travel into the future. Presumably, the geniuses of the past who have had such a profound effect on the development of mankind with their foresight (Da Vinci etc), must have been such time travellers! Wonder what I am writing to you at this moment, Blog, in all those infinite other parallel universes??? Now there is a question and a half.

See you on the other side, Blog.                                                                                                          Colin

PS.  In case you are not familiar with the modern athletic terminology, Blog, you know ‘a tempo run’**** etc., a ‘tridge’ is a fast ‘trudge’.

PPS **** ‘A tempo run’ used to be called ‘a steady run’.

PPPS ****** ... of ‘Bronte’ fame.