Wednesday 30 May 2012

Wedding Anniversary

Photograph Quiz:
Photo no. 101:- What is the significance for the History of Coventry Godiva Harriers has this photo copied from e-bay??
Dear Blog,
              I do apologise for not writing for a couple of days, you must really be wondering about what exciting things I have been doing. Basically I have been collecting vitamin D full time, and I do mean full time, from sund arise in da mornin ‘til de going down of the Sun. I had to carefully check Phoebus’ progress from East to South to West to ensure there were no short cuts, or a crafty diversion up North for a quick sunspot or two. Once or twice I had to move as there was a smell of burning. I find that there is nothing as unpleasant as the smell of burning human flesh. When I was nicely done front, back and sides, I went for a trudge. I don’t know about you Blog, but I do find a gentle trudge in the midday searing heat acts as a nice fixative for the stores of vitamin D built up during the mornings.
Oh I nearly forgot …. Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. 41 years Blog. Forty one years. FORTY ONE YEARS. It seems like only forty one years since I walked down the aisle. Did I ever tell you Blog that we had our wedding reception in a castle and cut the wedding cake with a sword? A real sword, Blog, I kid you not. A castle AND a sword.  Of course I had the dilemma of what to do to celebrate this memorable event. I asked Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth II if she would mind if I could share the weekend’s festivities with her and Phil, but she wrote back telling me to Bog Off, Blog. She said that she could easily find another use for a sword on unruly subjects besides cutting a wedding cake! I won’t vote for her at the next General Election that’s for sure. I shall have to cast my cross for that nice Mr Cameroon again, after alls he has changed his mind on that pasty tax thing after I wrote him a very stern letter, telling him that I had enough expense travelling all the way down to Truro to get my Cornish Pasty without having to pay a substantial fee in taxes every time I wanted a snack. So with the shared party idea a non-starter, how to impress my wife of 41 years Blog? Forty one years. FORTY ONE YEARS. Then I cracked it … you know how she likes to help the Estate gardeners cut the grass, I mentioned it in my last letter to you I think, well I thought of how I could ease her task. She has been struggling for some time pushing her hand mower up and down beneath the trees in the orchard. It is really hard work with her bad knee. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. OBVIOUS really. She is struggling with the hand mower, so what is the solution Blog? Of course. Buy her a metal file to sharpen the blades and not only that, buy her a small can of oil to lubricate the axle so the blades can rotate more freely. Am I brilliant Blog, or am I brilliant? No expense spared on such special occasions. And of course, instead of a romantic meal out in the evening at one of the county’s better restaurants, all she wanted to do was walk up and down, back and forth in the Orchard clipping away to her heart’s content. As I sipped on my wine, a nice little Chateau de Chagrin, in the morning room, I could just see her slow progress back and forth, up and down in the Orchard. I had to call her in when it was getting dark, enough is enough after alls. Anyway, in the gloom, she was tending to go off the straight line cut, which was spoiling the effect of the stripes in the grass pattern. Roll on forty two years. I can hardly wait.
                                         Colin

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