Springwatch

Dear Blog,

            What an experience Blog. Someone once said that life should be all about new experiences. I have just had one. A very nerve wracking one, I can tell you Blog. My granddaughter’ birthday is today but to slot in with her school friends, the party was yesterday. It involved a bit of geocaching which was a completely new experience for most, then it was back home for pass the parcel and so on and so forth. Meanwhile grand dad was despatched to MacDonald’s for supplies. I have to confess at this point that the visit was a new experience for me. I have never been to a MacDonald’s, a KFC, a Burger King and so on and so forth. In fact I have just had to ask wifie for the names of outlets like MacDonald’s!!! So off I goes to said emporium with my wifie telling me what to do  ….. join the queue of cars, speak your order [into what where, I can’t see anyone], what do I want? Do I want drinks? What drinks? You don’t hold a conversation with the voice, drive to the next kiosk, pay the girl, drive to the next kiosk to pick up the order [what ready already? How come?] how do I return to the real world? Drive round there … Talk about being nervous Blog. I kid you not. Sweating I was. Blog I kid you not. It could have been worse … next time I may have to go into a MacDonald’s, a KFC, a Burger King and so on and so forth [cross yourself, say three times hail Godivas and go for a trudge]. While I am on this confessing lark, may I confess that I have never watched a soap thing on television. None of your Coronation Street et al. Not seen one. Not never, not nohow. Zilch. Can you believe that Blog. I kid you not. Of course the great down side of this lack of viewing experience is the embarrassment of watching a comedian on Television, or worse, watching a comedian live, when everyone is splitting their sides laughing and I am sat there po-faced because I do not have a clue what is being laughed about!!!!!!!!!!! So many references to TV for a laugh. Mind you Blog, the newspapers are as bad. Reporting on people I have never heard of as if they were everyones best mates. And don’t start me on this football nonsense!!!!!!!!!

I think I shall record today as DAY ONE of the Come Back Trudge. CBT to you Blog. Have you noticed that invariably, when an acronym is used, the initialisation is followed by the full phrase!!! I walked one mile to the park and later walked one mile back home. This after a very rough night of sheer agony with my back. Still trying to sleep upright, the next step in my rehabilitation is to sleep horizontal. Or even to sleep! I went to the park because it was Allesley Park Fete, the four local schools, joining together to promote the event. If you do not know Blog, Allesley Park is an area of Coventry where muggles tend to live. They pretend to be like we posh people who live in Allesley Village, or even posher people like me who live in the countryside on our own estate lands. The existence of the four schools is interesting in today’s climate of swinging cuts. There are four junior schools within half a mile, each other having grown organically over the years. Praise to Coventry City Council because the vast majority of LEAs would have axed, shut, amalgamated some of the schools in such a small area on the grounds of efficiency. My granddaughters school is the smallest, and in my experience of education, does an absolutely first class job. But because it is small, it is not as popular as the others!!!! If the people of Allesley Park lived in a posh area, or an even posher area like me, they would be spending very many quids to get the small class size, the excellent teacher – pupil ratio, the very pleasant grounds and equipment that exists in my granddaughter’s school. Nowt so strange as folk?? The fete also included a one mile Fun Run which my granddaughter wanted to do. Sad to say, only the first 50 got medals which is not really on when it was small kiddies running around, organised specifically for their benefit. Whose bright idea was that???? The medals cost pence; the plastic disc inserts cost pence. And if there was an over order, the discs could be removed easily and the medals used for another event at some future date. Been there, done it, and got the medals to prove it. The fete was staged in Allesley Park, an old trudging ground of mine from nearly fifty years ago!!!!!!!! What was noticeable this morning was the sorry state the grass, the golf course and the paths were in. Obviously as part of the council cost cutting, the grass is now not cut as often as previous years and some areas are left untouched; left to go back to nature. This is reminiscent of the early seventies when some bright spark in the Coventry City Parks Department had the bright idea to leave the grass uncut all summer; on road side verges, on school playing fields and in all parklands. They also had the bright idea of putting the grass cutting rights out to tender to farmers; they could cut the grass to be used as hay, at a price. BRILLIANT. The council saves money by not having to employ staff or machinery to cut grass. BRILLIANT. The council saves money by collecting fees off farmers who cut the grass for nowt, and pay to take the grass away to use as feed. BRILLIANT. It meant that the parks could not be used for training all summer as the long grass was unrunable, a real pain up the bum, Blog; more road work, more injuries. BRILLIANT. When the grass was cut and left to dry in the sun, the kids could build play making dens and better still, play setting fire to large swathes of parkland. BRILLIANT. The farmers complained about their out lay of money for the tender process was going up in smoke at the same time as the arson taking place in the parks. BRILLIANT. The farmers complained that most of the hay they had harvested could not be used as it was full of dog fasces. BRILLIANT. The farmers were instructed that they could only use their machinery for reaping at certain times of the day because of public safety concerns. BRILLIANT. Many of the football pitches could not be used the following winter because either the goal mouths had not been reseeded or the pitches were devoid of grass as a result of late hay making stripping the surface thereby not giving the new grass time to grow. BRILLIANT. The public complained about the restricted use of parkland because of the long grass. Now that jobsworth was no doubt honoured in Queenies birthdays honours’ list, nothing short of a knighthood, methinks. Lord Cockup of Longgrass.

                                        Colin