Dear Blog,
Let me state at the outset that I have never had a problem with my shoe laces in a race. Never, touch wood; say three hail Marys and turn to face the moon. In training yes. Some brands are notorious for the quality of their shoe laces. The material is all wrong, lack of friction causing slipping and then the lace becomes untied. Even after knotting! Wosh, enough said. I have a special way of tying my laces which not only ensures that they always stay tied but with one pull of one of the ends, slip undone without effort or the need to fiddle with the lace knots. Clever or what Blog?? As I wrote at the start of this little message to you Blog, my shoe laces have never come undone in a race ………… But wotif ..
If I raced and my shoe lace became unfastened I might question why. If in a second competition, my laces became untied I would begin to ask question why because the result of a race is very important and a great deal of time is devoted towards training to win a race and that object is ruined when you have to stop in a race to retie an errant shoe lace. If the situation arose where every time I raced my shoe laces, one or both, invariably became untied I would investigate the matter and do my very best to find a solution because the result of a race is very important and that is what a great deal of time is devoted towards. Stick with the analogy Blog. Concentrate.
I have had reason to ring up my bank four times in the last three weeks. I must say they have rather nice music to listen to while you spend time ‘on hold’ and I do get a bit annoyed when they keep repeatedly interrupting the tune to tell that I am in a queue and my phone message is important to them. Connection to a VOICE is made and I am given a stack of options from which to choose. I select the appropriate one so that I can be given a further set of options from which I select the most suitable. Then comes the questions which may recorded for training purposes as my bank have the most highly trained staff on the high street. The time they must spend training probably accounts for the long time I have to wait in a queue listening to their rather nice music. They are all probably learning to play a musical instrument to enable the Bank to record a different tune at some time in the far distant future. Any ways, then comes the questions one of which asks me to state my date of birth in a six figure number …. I never know what the next question is because I never get that far. The VOICE doesn’t like my six figure number and I make the mistake of giving up and starting to redial my Bank all over again. MISTAKE BIG TIME. The whole procedure is repeated when I ring up again. Viz:- I must say they still have rather nice music to listen to while you spend time ‘on hold’ because my phone message is still important to them. Connection to a VOICE is eventually made and I am given a stack of options from which to choose. The same stack of options as before. I select the appropriate one (the same one as before, the VOICE has either forgotten or doesn’t recognise my voice, [so much for regarding my message as important if they forget what I have said in the space of a couple of minutes] so that I can be given a the same set of the further set of options as previously stated and from which I again select the most suitable. Then comes the questions [again] which may recorded for training purposes as my bank have the most highly trained staff on the high street. The time they must spend training probably accounts for the long time I have to wait in a queue listening to their rather nice music. They obviously haven’t mastered the instrument they chose the last time I phoned. Any ways, then comes the questions one of which asks for my date of birth in a six figure number …. Now this is where I outwit the VOICE. Clever me. The VOICE doesn’t like my six figure number again again again but I don’t hang up. FOOLED YE! The VOICE asks again for my date of birth as a six figure number. The VOICE still doesn’t like my six figure number but I still don’t hang up. For a third time the VOICE asks for my date of birth as a six figure number but doesn’t like what it hears, it breaks down in tears and passes me over to a real human being. No messing. No smarmy talk about the importance of my custom, none of that bollocks. Straight in. I do miss the music though, it was getting quite addictive. I was getting quite fond of that particular air! As I said to you Blog I have had reason to ring up my bank four times in the last three weeks and have had to go through the whole of this farce four times. On the fourth occasion I asked to speak to a superior and said that the Bank’s Voice was having trouble with my date of birth given as a six figure number. I was asked if I used to be a Scottish Mutual customer in the days before the carpet baggers came along and stole the members silver. I said I was. “Ah, that’s the problem sir. We always have problems with customers from the Scottish Mutual when they try to give their date of birth. It is a regular problem. It happens every time.” !!!! Now Blog, is it me or is it me??? As a multi international bank, wouldn’t you think my custom was REALLY important to them as they kept telling me and would do something about their problem instead of pissing me off every time I phone? So I won’t be phoning Spain again thank you very much. I will try to find a bank which plays a different tune!
Colin
P.S. And …. I don’t know whether in the circumstances I should admit this … but I will. My nephew is a senior person in Santander. And in which department you ask Blog? Well I am glad that you asked that question Blog. He is the department which is the section which deals with computer problems within the Bank!!! Blog, I kid you not!!!!
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