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Photographic Quiz.

 

Photo number:- five

Question:-  Do you know this bloke?? The police authority want to interview him urgently in connection with two cases of driving without due care and attention, multiple charges of driving while under the influence of drink or drugs, one charge of deception and one charge of cruelty to animals.

The driving without due care and attention relates to one incident in which a Boeing 747 had to take emergency evasive action as the above suspect came within 100 yards (metres to you Blog) of the aircraft above Birmingham with his sledge as the plane was returning from a visit to Lap land. The passengers, all old men, had been on a trip to see the dancers. The other charge related to a 737 which had to abort its take off of its Christmas trip to Turkey when it was believed by the pilot that a sea bird had been sucked into one of the engines. On analysis the meat turned out to be venison.

 The drink charge follow analysis of a blood sample given by the above suspect after being spotted driving his sledge in an erotic manner, when he had 180 mg of alcohol per millilitre in his blood, compared to the legal limit of 2.5 mg of alcohol per millilitre; it was equivalent of consuming 49 sherries - and the DVLA has no record of him passing his sledging test.

 The deception charge follows action from a parents group who claim that the above suspect told their young children that Christmas was just a commercial con and that Father Christmas was probably an unemployed tramp, or even worse, it could be that nice Mr Cameroon trying to win the young vote in time for the 2020 election.

The Animal Rights Safety Ensemble, or Arse for short, have brought an action because the above suspect did not allow his reindeers to rest during a 24 hour work shift whereas E.C. rules state quite clearly that a 24 hour shift should only be worked in the summer months and that 23 hours and 57 minutes should be a maximum during the winter.   

Dear Blog,

                 Boy what a night. I am knackered. Proper pooped. I don't think the word 'disturbing' is too strong a description to use. All those bloody bells a jingling all through the night and the amount of poo I had to shift off the lawn this morning had to be seen to be believed. God only knows what was going on. I had to wake my dear wife up to send her outside to find out what the commotion was all about. I said to her that she should put a cardigan over her baby doll pyjamas in case the neighbours saw her but she said that her tank top would do. I said alright but if there is any trouble, be sure to phone the police before she tries to tackle whoever is making the racket. I said to her that if they were burglars she should call me down and I would help them look for any valuables - don't want them to find any valuables - share and share a like is my motto. It is Christmas afterall. She finally came back to bed about 6am and I wasn't too pleased as she was soaked through to the skin and she started dripping on my side of the bed. I ask you. She never used to be so selfish. I think I have told you before Blog, that sometimes she is not very considerate. And then, to add insult to injury, she was late getting up to make my breakfast.

                Taking all her actions into consideration, I think, with hind sight, I was quite right not to buy her an expensive Christmas gift; I shall eat the bar of chocolate myself.

                                                           Colin