Hi Blog!
I see the New York Marathon was this weekend. I suppose I must have run about 2:18 when I ran the New York City Marathon a few years back. I usually ran about that time when there was no pressing urgency to knacker myself. I don’t know what time I ran but I can remember at the presentation, I was awarded a large cup for something, (I don’t think I was old enough to qualify as a veteran runner?) which, as usual, on my return home caused some delay at customs with the usual plethora of questions. Precisely what qualifications do customs officers need?? A degree in asking the bleeding obvious? A Masters in being very annoying? A PhD in making sure you miss your next transport connection?
I found New York a very friendly city. So nice of people to speak to you on the streets; complete strangers willing to enter into conversation. Every time I ventured out of the hotel I was greeted by a young lady or two wanting to know if I was enjoying myself, was I having a good day, or enquiring if I wanted a good time or if I wanted to see some sights. I said to one young lady who offered to let me explore with her that I could not really accept her kind offer as I thought that, as she was dressed so inappropriately for the cold weather with so few clothes, I was afraid that she might catch her death if she stayed out with me too long. I think she wanted to borrow my jacket to keep warm; I assume that the American slang for jacket or jerkin is ‘Jerk’? I don’t think she was American because her language was a little stilted; to ask for the jacket she just said ‘You Jerk’. The friendliness started as soon as I landed on American soil. I went to go through the ‘Nothing to Declare’ channel at the airport but these two nice gentlemen in uniform asked me to step into their office. Very nice. They didn’t offer me coffee straight away as I was expecting. They explained that they worked for some relation of theirs called Uncle Sam and he wanted to know how long I was staying in ‘the U.S.’, how much money I had and what were my arrangements for accommodation during my stay. And did I have a return ticket? Now I don’t mind telling you, Blog, that I thought the questions were a little bit obtrusive, but you can never tell with these Johnny Foreigners, so I decided to play along with them. I thought it might be polite to start by asking them how their Uncle Sam was, was he in good health? In reality, I was more worried about one of the two gentlemen questioning me as he had exploded into a coughing fit. Almost apoplexic he was. He had to take a swig out of his little hip flask to recover. I told him that in England the chemist usually prescribes cough medicine in a glass bottle but I supposed with his job, he could not risk any of the glass shards on the airport lounge floor if he happened to drop his medicine bottle. I said I thought that using a hip flask was a good idea in the circumstances. He was turning a funny colour though. Quite worrying. He asked me how many American dollars I had brought with me. I said I hadn’t any. No joke. Sterling? None. No kidding. Credit card? Don’t own one. Honest! Travellers cheques? Nope. I kid you not. With every question his tone seemed to become more aggressive and each successive question increased in volume until he actually shouted at me to turn out my pockets. Quite scary. I thought he wanted to borrow my handkerchief to mop his brow such was the streams of sweat flowing down his chubby cheeks. ‘Why are did you come to the U.S. if you have no money, Sir?’ the other one asked in a quieter tone; he had said very little up until this juncture. ‘To run the New York City Marathon’. ‘With no money for accommodation or food?? ‘Oh no’ I said ‘I have been invited to run’ ‘Invited? By who?’ As he was now starting to get excited, I didn’t like to tell him that I thought he should have said ‘By Whom’. I let it pass in the interests of Anglo American relations. I mentioned the name of the lady who worked for the marathon organiser and said she had made all the arrangements, accommodation, meals, finance etc.. ‘You are an invited athlete Sir? Come this way. Welcome to the United States of America. We do hope you enjoy your stay in our country. Wait. Do join us for coffee’ Which in the circumstances I thought was very civil of them both. Over coffee they explained that I had to be careful in a big city like New York and if the marathon organiser’s cab hadn’t arrived they would organise transport, it not being safe to just take any old cab that plied for hire. This was a very perceptive statement. I knew this to be true as two years previous, another marathon runner from one of the countries with a common border with England had been forced to take out a large amount of insurance in dollar notes with the cabbie who took him from the airport into the city. I kid you not! My taxi ride was very pleasant, right to the front of the hotel. The cabbie asked me to sign the chit so he could claim the fare from the race organisers. I said I thought that the distance he had written down was rather OTT but he explained that the bill was in American miles not English miles. He said he thought an English mile was about the same as five English miles. I said that that was an interesting fact about the differences in our two countries and I signed the chit. He said it was a pleasure to do business with me and he hoped I had a good day. Such a nice man.
And of course, just like anyone who has flown into Kennedy, I got a massive electric shock off the handrail!!!
More later perhaps, as I have to trudge now, because this afternoon, I am marshalling for at a Midland League Walk. This morning, my wife and two kids are running in a 5 mile race, so it’s a busy old day.
Colin
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