Dear Blog,
Do you like my latest garden installation? It is my touching tribute to Ballcock and Brown, those two innovative avators who were the first to fly by aeroplane across the English Channel. I have installed in on the washing line temporarily to instil into it the feeling of freedom caused by free flight, a sort of Ryan Air experience without Ryan.
On Sunday, I helped out in the pleasant weather at the Midland Senior Track League at the Coventry Track at the University of Wawick although the sun was in out all afternoon. Today, the gloom merchants on the radio (a picture less television Blog!) warned of unpleasant weather … by which they meant that it was going to rain. Question => why is it unpleasant if it is going to rain??? Obviously the forecaster has never washed her hair in rain water. If she had she would not make such fatuous comments, nor would she spend most of the money she obtains from the weather service on hair shampoo and hair conditioner and hiar this and heir that and here today and gone tomorrow. Did you know Blog, that some of the great swathes of houses in Coventry built between the wars still have the rain water tanks on the roofs (!!! That what the man says!!!) of their out houses and a few even still have three taps; besides the usual hot and cold water taps they have a third one which is connected to the rain water tank. Having just struggled back from my wet trudge and combed my fast disappearing locks, the effect caused by the rain is all too apparent; smooth and silky like a baby’s bottom. [In this day and age I suppose that THAT COMMENT is not P.C.? Better be careful or a P.C. will be calling.]
While I was out I noticed that the grass verges were uncut, the weight of the rain forcing the long grass to lean over into the road way. In previous years we have had the council mowers down the lane at the bottom of the estate driveways, a couple of times already. This year, not a single blade I have I spotted severed anywhere in Coventry. A cost cutting exercise by not cutting grass, methinks Geeves? Perhaps the Council are repeating their money raising gimmick of the 1970s when council finances were also tight as they appear to be at present. What did they do, you ask Blog? I am glad you asked me that Blog. Well I will tell you again Blog …. They neither cut the grass verges nor did they cut the school playing fields or the grass on the pitches in the parks or any of the other grass in the parks of the city. They let it grow all summer … and grow it did!!! Then what did the council then do??? I am glad you asked me that Blog. Well I will tell you. They put the grass cutting out to tender and sold the hay to the highest bidder. So the farmers moved in and mowed the grass and the missing tennis balls and the odd child that had been lost in the long parkland grass. And they left the mown hay to dry. And the children moved in and played lots of new games invented especially for the use of mown hay. And the more adventurous older children discovered that dry mown grass burnt rather well!! And the doggie walkers found that the doggies loved to do what doggies do in mown hay and they doggie dodood. All in that newly mown drying hay. And the farmers returned to bale their hay which they had paid the council many quids for but found that the cattle did not like the charred remains nor did the cattle like the doggie dodood hay and the farmers were upset having paid the council lots of quids for the cattle feed which the cattle did not like to feed on and the farmers had to buy hay from elsewhere where it had not been either burnt or doggie popood. And when the footballers started to football a few weeks later they too were upset because they had bald pitches because the grass had not regrown since the farmers had baled the hay. And the council had to try to reseed the pitches for the up-coming season and the council had left it too late to reseed and a winter football season was spent playing mudball.
And for us that liked to trudge, the summer was most difficult, because it was impossible to run around any of the parks in Coventry or to use any of the school playing fields because the grass had grown far too long. And what narrow paths had been worn down by the doggie walkers walking their doggies were occupied by doggie walkers walking their doggies and the grass at the path sides was too long for the trudgers to trudge passed.
And the council’s brilliant idea of getting someone else to cut the grass and get them to pay the council for the privilege backfired and many quids had to be paid in compensation to disgruntled farmers and many quids had to be paid to try to make the pitches playable and no one was held responsible for this very clever idea.
But the interesting question now arises …. Is history about to repeat itself??? Does anyone from the council remember this fiasco from many years ago when my trudge was faster than a jog??? And will the council try it again or just let the grass on the verges rot? And when the verges have rotted, nature will creep onto the tarmac and start a process of deterioration which the frosts and snows of next winter will complete …. BUT. ALL IS NOT LOST. Thanks be to God, that the Coventry Half Marathon has been moved by the council to March because the Council can use the income generated from the entrance fees from the joggers in the Half Marathon to repair the roads in the interests of Health and Safety. Now Blog, is that clever with a capital ‘C’ or is that clever with a capital ‘C’??
Colin
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