Coventry Half Marathon 2013

Sorry Blog,

       I should have written that the photograph (cf your last letter) from yesterday, was taken of the start of one of Coventry Godiva Harriers’ (ref other letters to you) Bettmann Handicaps (look up Siegfried Bettmann letter and / or Triumph bicycles letter and /or Triumphs motor cycles letter and / or Triumph motor cars letter and / or Triumph cooperative aka England’s first jogging machine letter). Apologies.

      Reference to my letter to you Blog, of October 15^th inst., I mentioned to you that I had trudge around the local lanes which were reminiscent of the back streets of a Mumbai slum with litter strewn here, there and everywhere. The debris had been discarded by the participants in the Coventry half Marathon the day before my trudge. I did observe at the time that the race had been organised by a company on behalf of the council. I also noted that part of the conditions of the permit granted by the athletic authorities to promote a road race on the Queen’s highway was that the course should be left neat and tidy after the event. I said to you Blog, in that letter, that I would repeat my trudge in a day or twos time to check that the course had been tidied, and if the junk had not been removed I would don my yellow marigolds and pick the litter, clear the roads around my estate myself. Well, the organisers failed to fulfil their part of the bargain and a black bin bag of rubbish was collected; the collection consisted entirely of drinks cartons (given out by the organisers to passing athletes running in the Coventry Half Marathon) and gel strips (given out by the organisers to passing athletes running in the Coventry Half Marathon). I hasten to add that I was a little disposed at the time so had to impose on my butler to undertake the task. And a good job he made of it. Well that is not strictly true, as it was the footman … see later in the letter.

       Imagine my surprise today when I spied a little activity at the end of my drive in the Lane. Not wishing to appear nosey but feeling that matters of security are every citizens responsibility, I made my way to the estate gates where a council lorry and a brace of their artisans were loitering. I ascertained that they had been dispatched by their employers to clear the Lane of litter. I laughed heartily and told them that I took a personal interest in clearing the Lanes here, there, and everywhere in Allesley each and every Monday. I gave the impression to the two council workmen johnnies that I did the litter picking myself, which of course, is ludicrous. Under normal circumstances the Butler does the clearing up except when he has one of his bouts of asthma when the footman takes over his role to litter pick. The Butler seems to get his asthma attacks quite regularly on a Monday morning. Something to do with the stress of doing the Sunday roast I suspect. He has to stand in regularly to cook for the family meal as the cook seems to have an awful lot of Sundays off with stress. I suppose it is brought on by being married to the Butler and having the footman for a brother. Anyway I chatted to the workmen. I have never believed in letting class interfere with a good chat. I am not bigoted. They can’t help their upbringing, can they? Anyway they told me they had been detailed to clear the litter in the local Lanes as they had had a complaint from the public about the amount left by the Coventry Half Marathon Race on Sunday! I said I must have missed that. They did not appreciate my humour so I had to explain to them that the Coventry Half Marathon Race and the left litter had been some eight weeks ago. One of the workman said that the message must have just got through to his boss and there had been a misunderstanding. I laughed at his little joke but with hind sight I believe he may have been serious as neither he nor his assistant joined in my mirth. They can’t help their upbringing, can they? I reinforced that they would find no litter and he confirmed this statement was indeed true as they had walked / driven three miles and collected only half a black bin full of rubbish. I made a metal note to praise the footman on his excellent clearing job. I also made a mental note to write to my local councillor to ask the council treasurer to reclaim the day’s wage for two council artisans for clearing up the rubbish that should have collected by the company employed by the council on some day last October. I made a mental note to the treasure that when he sends his claim to the Coventry Half Marathon Race organisers, he also submits a claim on my behalf for the black plastic bag which my Butler had to give to the footman for his litter pick.

Blog, I kid you not … two council artisans did spend today searching in vain for debris left by the Coventry Half Marathon in October (aka last Sunday). I would not lie to you Blog.

                             Colin